I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
