I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
