Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
