i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
