why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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