HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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