On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i dont even know how to be here
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
