i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
