I can tuck mytits in my pants
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
