i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
