Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
