He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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