it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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