Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
