I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
