He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
