ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
