is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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