Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize