The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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