Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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