i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Randomize
