dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I need to calm my uterus...
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
