i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize