Midget sex pt 2 tonight
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
