That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
