Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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