jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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