Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Randomize
