There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Randomize
