I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I think my fart just growled at me.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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