There was a lot of him and a little penis
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
