You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
