Midget sex pt 2 tonight
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
