Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
