I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
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