He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
