Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I won't apologize to a one balled man
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize
