Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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