oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
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