My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
