AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
