I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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