I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
