It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
