how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
