He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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