Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
