Only a mothe r could love this liver
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
