in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
