Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
God I need to hump something, right now.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
