it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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