Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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