I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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