I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize