I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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