I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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