I puked a lego.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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