Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
