she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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