i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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