Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
