ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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