is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
