i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
