just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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