made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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