worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize