The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
this just has baby written all over it
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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